


Matriculation

by TheAfterglow



Series: Unspoken [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Feels, Coming of Age, F/M, Leia Organa Ships It, No one's a boy scout, Past Relationship(s), Porn With Plot, Reverend Leia Organa, Secret Relationship, getting caught, shady!Reylo, uh oh catching feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 10:21:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12230907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAfterglow/pseuds/TheAfterglow
Summary: She didn’t expect anything from him.At least, she hadn’t thought she did, until he suggested she sleep on the couch.





	Matriculation

**Author's Note:**

> When last we left our intrepid secret lovers, Rey had gone to visit Ben at college and tricked her way into his bed. 
> 
> What follows is Ben's most exquisitely awkward Saturday.

She woke as she felt the bed shift and grow colder. It was still overcast, but the sun was trying to break through the clouds and reflected brilliant white off the snow outside, a sharp contrast to last evening. She traced her foot back and forth on his sheets, biding her time.

Rey waited until Ben was safely down the hallway before darting from his bedroom to the bathroom. Her legs were still wobbly and bare beneath his borrowed shirt. She dared not look up as she caught his glance out of the corner of her eye. Ben frequently looked angry, and it appeared this morning was no exception.

She removed her jacket where he’d slung it over the shower stall to dry and turned on the water for white noise. Her reflection looked disheveled, hair falling out of its night braid around her face. She wiped a delicate layer of steam away from the mirror with the sleeve over her hand and peered at the mark on her neck, just beneath the edge of the shirt collar. It was a dark, purpling bruise that looked raw around the edges, her skin slightly abraded from his whiskers.

Jessika had helped her pack the afternoon before, sitting on Rey’s bed with her knees drawn up to her chest.

“You’re staying at Ben’s place?” Her friend wore an expression of concern crossed with thinly-concealed envy. Jessika’s dark hair was swept over one shoulder and she stroked the ends between her index and middle fingers. The white, brown and black calico kitten that they had rescued near a restaurant dumpster downtown dozed alongside Jessika’s hip, her face tucked neatly under one crooked paw.

“Mmmhmmm.”

Rey knew she was only packing for one day away, but she kept shoving more items into her backpack around her books and laptop. Socks. Hat. Scarf. Another pair of socks in case the first got wet.

“Does he have any roommates?”

Rey folded her extra pair of jeans once more before answering. “I don’t think so.”

Jessika merely nodded. Rey glanced at her as she stuffed her sleepshirt into her backpack. A winter storm warning repeated itself on the radio, the list of affected counties growing longer with each repetition. The train was sure to be late.

The subtle shift between her and Jess since September had been painfully palpable but inevitable, Rey supposed. She didn’t want to talk about Ben, not really.  She felt torn between telling Jessika every last detail of their few, brief, strange encounters and keeping them entirely private, a smooth worry stone she turned over in her mind while she was alone.

After all, what was there to talk about? It wasn’t like they were _dating_. He wasn’t her boyfriend. She didn’t expect anything from him.

At least, she hadn’t thought she did, until he suggested she sleep on the couch.

Her mind had gone a thousand places in that moment: they’d been found out, he had met someone else, he had simply grown tired of her. Any was a logical possibility. But she hadn’t expected logic to leave her with such a sinking feeling in her middle as she crouched in front of his freezer drawer.

Or had it been the way he had told her? With his back turned, like a coward? The way adults sometimes told children things, without the courtesy of face-to-face interaction?

Any of these things seemed just as likely as another to her as she had lain stiffly on the couch in the shirt she’d borrowed unnecessarily, counting and re-counting the stripes on the wall from the streetlight shining through the blinds.  

The bruise was speckled in the middle and sore to the touch. A smile curled her lips at her cleverness that had resulted in the mark. Steam had begun to cloud over her spot on the mirror when a sharp rap at the door caused her to start.

She spun around, gripping the countertop behind her. “Yes? Good morning!” Her voice sounded too loud to her in the small space.

Ben’s voice was muffled through the door, but he sounded gruff and annoyed. “Rey, can I come in there?”

Her stomach twisted. His tone reminded her instantly of Han, of those rare moments when he got worked up enough to correct something she had done that displeased him. He would be sheepish afterwards, hiding in his office with his coffee thermos until she came and knocked to find out her next task.

“I’m in the shower,” she projected her voice as though straining to make herself heard over the running water. “Do you need something?”

He opened the door without warning and stepped directly in front of her and she bit her lips as she pressed back against the vanity. His eyes darted up and down her person before he made eye contact.

“You’re not in the shower,” he said. She detected the obvious note of disgust in his voice with ease.

“Not yet,” she hedged. “Do you want to go first?”

 He towered over her, clenching and unclenching his fists at his sides.

“Rey,” Ben shook his head in exasperation and reached into the shower to turn off the tap. It was very quiet aside from the heat vent pinging in the floor. He crossed his arms and looked at the floor between them. Rey looked down, too.

The silence felt endless as she stole quick glances at him. He hunched ever so slightly, his broad shoulders curling forwards under his faded sweatshirt. The screen printing was curling at the edge of the letters that spelled S-T-A-T-E across the chest. The first time she could recall seeing him wear it was the summer before he went off to school, not long after she’d arrived in town and begun working at Han’s shop. She’d kept peeking out the garage window as he’d mowed the tiny lawn in front of the office, the long electrical cord slung over his shoulder to keep from mowing it by accident. His long legs had made short work of the small green patch, protruding pale and hairy from beneath his grey cargo shorts. He barely paid her any mind, but she had kept looking after him when his back was turned.

“Rey,” Ben finally raised one hand towards her, his palm open in supplication. “I know what you did.”

She kept looking at his feet. A lump was growing in her throat and she didn't trust her voice. She nodded.

“What…” he trailed off. He tucked his chin to his chest and sighed deeply. “I’m not angry, I’m just….”

She studied him out of the tops of her eyes, trying to gauge him. She slowly uncurled her fingers from the countertop and crossed her arms protectively in front of her before answering. She was acutely aware how short the hemline of his shirt felt with her arms like this.

“You liked it,” she whispered.

His eyes widened for a second at her honesty, then his lips formed a line. “That’s not the point,” he countered, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose with a quick jerk of his thumb. “What is this, Rey? What are you-- _we_ doing here?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. She shook her head for emphasis when he raised one eyebrow at her. He appeared skeptical.

“Rey, I--”

He was cut off by his phone ringing in the bedroom. It sounded like a message notification and he rolled his eyes, turned on his heel and retreated to the sound. It pinged twice more before he reached it, and she leaned heavily on the doorframe of the bathroom and stared at his back.

It sounded a third time before he swore viciously under his breath, “Jesus _fuck_!”

“Is everything okay?” She tried, taking a cautious step towards him.

 “Get yourself dressed,” he said tersely. “My mother is coming over.”

* * *

 Rey was still in the bathroom combing her wet hair when the doorbell rang. Ben didn’t have a hair dryer, and she hadn't thought to bring one. She scrunched her hair in the damp towel, listening to the muted sounds of them greeting each other.

She had only seen the reverend once before, when she was sixteen and Leia had come by the shop to discuss Ben’s graduation celebration with Han. It didn’t pertain to her, so she kept working diligently on degreasing the gaskets she’d been given to clean.

She caught a glimpse of her in the office when she went by to the storeroom for another canister of solvent. Leia was seated with her back to the doorway, and all Rey could make out was an intricate braid of graying hair wound tightly to the back of her head. Han had looked up at the movement and immediately gone back to looking at his coffee mug.

She knew he still kept a picture of Leia in his toolbox, inside the lid. She’d happened across it one day when he’d sent her looking for a spanner. Rey had never mentioned it to Han, and certainly not to Melissa, but had crept back to the box several more times when she was alone to stare at the faded picture of a young woman with long, dark hair and a mischievous twinkle in her eye. She knew little of Leia, except that she had initiated the separation from Han when Ben was in grade school. She lived across town, and Ben seemed to stay with her more frequently than with Han when he visited.

He didn’t visit very often once he’d gone off to college.

Rey took a deep breath and opened the bathroom door. The woman’s voice was deeper than she had imagined from the picture, rougher around the edges with age. It almost sounded like she had a touch of a cold.

Ben caught her eye over his mother’s head and gestured towards her with his chin. His arms were still crossed.

“Mom, do you remember Rey?”

Rey straightened up to her full height as the smaller woman appraised her with a knowing look in her eye. Leia’s chunky silver jewelry and lavender-colored flowing top struck Rey as that of an aging hippie, but she had a steely countenance that did not invite argument. Leia’s lips quirked in a sardonic grin and she turned back to Ben.

“I do. This was your father’s idea, I suppose?” Leia glanced at the pile of Rey’s things and unused bedding still tidily folded on Ben’s couch, but made no remark. “Can I take you kids to breakfast?”

Rey’s cheeks reddened as she followed Leia’s gaze but she replied for them, “That would be nice, if you have time?”

“I’ve got nothing but time,” Leia smiled broadly now, and Rey recognized the same gleam in her eye as in Han’s toolbox photo. “I didn’t drive clear up here in these conditions to turn right around.”

Ben did nothing to disguise his pained expression, but Rey hid her grin beneath her scarf as they trudged to Leia’s car through the drifts.

“Your place seems kind of chilly,” Leia remarked casually, buckling her seatbelt. “You should call the landlord and have them look at the boiler.”

The diner was teeming with groups of students huddled together in the vinyl booths, their coats piled into corners and the tiled floor wet with icy puddles melted from their boots. There was a low hum to the air, a noticeable frequency of barely-contained excitement for the end of the semester and the impending holiday break.

Rey sawed her way through an enormous stack of buttermilk pancakes covered with syrup, politely answering Leia’s questions about her plans for school and potential majors and how she liked working at the shop and all manners of other small talk. She sat beside Leia in the booth and did her best to avoid Ben's glares across the table.

They were nearly finished when a young, very slender woman approached from behind them and greeted Leia warmly.

“Oh, hi Reverend Organa, I thought that was you!”

Leia turned to the visitor and exclaimed, “Bazine! What a surprise! How are you, my dear?” She rose from the booth and embraced the girl in a familiar hug.

Rey glanced at Ben, who now leaned forward on his elbows with his fingers laced over his glasses, his thumbs pressed to his temples. She couldn’t be sure, but she thought he muttered something along the lines of, “Just _fucking kill_ me.”

Rey was trying not to stare, but she suddenly remembered Han’s words as she observed their visitor.  

 _There was a girl, and now there isn’t_.

Leia turned back to the table and paused for a moment when she saw her son's posture before forging ahead. “Rey, this is Bazine Netal. She and her family are congregants of mine.”

“Hi, it’s a pleasure,” Bazine held up one bony palm in acknowledgement. “I remember when you came to live with your great uncle.”

“Hi,” Rey replied. “I’m sorry, I don't recall meeting you?”

Bazine nodded knowingly and curled her fingers around her purse strap. “That’s okay, we haven’t met. Ben… told me about you.” She looked pointedly at him, and he straightened up to greet her with a curt nod.

“Hey, Bazine.” His tone was gruff again, almost like it had been when he’d cornered her in the bathroom. “It’s been awhile.” Rey raised her eyebrow at her remaining pancakes and took another sizeable bite. She couldn’t answer questions if she was chewing.

“You look well,” Bazine purred. “How are things?”

Ben nodded vigorously as he attacked his yet-untouched omelette with vigor. He didn’t look up when he replied, “Good. Things are good. You?”

“I’m moving to California in January, for grad school,” Bazine said. “At the Theological Union. I was just in town to say goodbye to some old friends… of ours.”

Rey couldn’t decipher Ben’s expression at this news. It looked to her like a mixture of anger and relief. Bazine was classically pretty and quite well-groomed, especially for a casual Saturday morning breakfast.

“Well,” Ben nodded, still not looking up from where he hacked at his food. “It’s a good thing we ran into each other, isn’t it. Before you left.”

“You’ll keep in touch, won’t you?” Leia asked. “Come by Good Shepherd when you’re home? Anytime.”

“Of course,” Bazine said. “Rey, it was a pleasure to finally meet you.”

Rey took a swallow of coffee before answering, still studying Ben’s reaction to their unexpected visitor. “Likewise--good luck at school,” she smiled.

Bazine blinked slowly and gave Leia’s forearm another squeeze. “Bye, Ben.”

“Good luck,” Ben mumbled around a mouthful of breakfast potatoes and sausage. “See you.”

Leia seated herself once more and a long silence stretched out between them all. Rey shifted and re-crossed her legs, wondering what to say that didn’t sound awkward. A foreign sensation had overtaken her midsection. It felt closest to the rare times when her rival classmate managed a better score on a test and felt it necessary to gloat publicly to his friends in class about it.

But… not exactly so.

Leia stirred another unsweetened Mini-moo creamer into her coffee and placed the spoon on the saucer before she finally remarked, “Well, good for Bazine. She always talked about going into service.”

“Mom, give it a rest.”

“Alright! Alright,” Leia pursed her lips and frowned at her son. “You should get some rest, you seem awfully grouchy today.” She glanced at Rey. “Even for you.”

 

* * *

 

The two of them lingered in the car when they arrived back at Ben’s place. He gave her his key, and she silently understood that he wanted to be alone with Leia. She tried not to spy, but she repeated peeked through the curtains to the car at the curb.

She dashed back to the couch and pretended to study when he finally emerged from the car and started up the stairs to his place.

The apartment seemed too small in the daylight with them both in it. Ben retreated to the bathroom without a word, leaving her to sulk on the couch with her things. The temperature was almost back to normal, but the piles of snow on the balcony and the windowsills made the utilitarian space seem that much more confining.

Rey retrieved and stared at her textbook, looking at the same page over and over before shutting it with a slap. She glared over her shoulder at the bathroom door. It was still closed and the fan was on.

She crossed the small space in four long strides, but hesitated before banging on the door. The annoyance in her middle had morphed from a vague sensation she couldn’t pinpoint to a tight and growing ball of anger. She repeatedly raised her fist to knock, only to withdraw her hand and tuck it tightly beneath her arm once more.

Just as her knuckles were about to contact the worn wood, Ben jerked the door open.

“Do you need something?”

“You!” Rey pointed sharply at Ben’s chest.

“Me?!” He jerked his thumb towards himself. “What about me, I’m not the one who… who tricked me into having sex with you!”

A current of righteous anger was flowing in her now. “Yes, you!! You have no business being that rude to your mother!”

“What do you care, Rey, she’s not your mom!” The sarcasm in Ben’s retort was unbearable. Before she could think, her hands shot out and she gave him a mighty shove with her palms flat to his chest. It barely pushed him back a half-step, and his expression darkened instantly.

“It’s not fair!” Rey tried to shout, but her voice cracked on the last word and her eyes grew hot and scratchy. “You are so lucky to have parents, can’t you see that? I would give anything to have what you have, but you act like you hate the--”

“Rey, stop it, please!” He cut her off. “I’m sorry about what happened to your parents, but I don’t hate mine,” Ben’s tone was soothing, and she curled in on herself as he emerged from the bathroom to try to hug her. “Please?” Rey squirmed out of his grasp but he managed to scoop her up with his arm behind her knees. She wriggled and pushed against him as he carried her unceremoniously back to the bedroom.

The covers were half off the bed as he plopped her on the sheets, and folded his arms before he repeated, “I don’t hate them-- but it’s more complicated than you know.”

“Well, I feel the same!” Rey whispered furiously, not trusting her voice. “How do you think I feel about… about this?!” She gestured furiously between them.

Ben gazed at her over the top of his glasses. “Is that what this is about? About _us_? Because I wasn’t aware until right now that ‘us’ was a thing.”

Rey studied him like she had so many times before in short, furtive glances. She tipped her chin up and commanded him: “Take off your clothes. And lie down.”

His eyebrows went up, but he obeyed her, turning away to shuck his clothes and ease onto the bed beside her.

His nudity was his surrender.

She rose to her knees and undressed, but getting naked didn’t feel like a victory this time. She felt raw, exposed, and looking at his sex laying flush with his belly sparked a nervous hum in her own middle. It was the first time they’d been fully naked, and it was broad daylight outside. She looked at the windows and wondered if his neighbors could see them.

“Please?” He held her hand as she straddled him, unsure of what to do. He’d always take the lead before. She didn’t want to hurt him.

That fear was unfounded, she learned a moment later. The head of his cock may have felt silky against her palm, but it felt as hard as steel as she sank down onto him.

It didn’t hurt, not exactly. The angle was different and she was terribly aware of how full she felt. She still felt tender from the night before.

A quick, ticklish climax overcame her before they even got started. Rey braced her hands on his chest as she caught her breath and whispered, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean--”

“Don’t be sorry,” he interrupted her. “You can keep going.”

She peeked at him and found he looked far from annoyed. No, on the contrary. He looked… _smug_. He wore the same expression as those dickish football players who sat in the commons at school and bragged loudly to each other about what they’d done with this or that girl behind the field house after the game. Rey straightened up, feeling like she wanted to slap him. She traced small shapes with her fingertips down his torso, over his ribs to his belly button and then into the scant, dark trail of hair that lead to where their bodies were joined.

He bucked his hips gently, impatiently beneath her. The motion traveled up her spine, and she found herself rocking with him. He stilled but she kept going, bolder with each wave. Her hips found a rhythm of their own, and she closed her eyes while his hands discovered secret places to tease her.

Her body knew what to do when she stopped thinking so hard and just let it. She learned she wasn’t an alien after all, not like she’d stubbornly insisted when her parents had died. She was gloriously human, doing this human thing with another.

Ben sat up and drew her close to him, and the change in angle brought her dangerously close to cumming all over again. She was taller than him this way, and she took advantage of it to capture his lips in deep, sloppy kisses. The pace she had set was rapidly being overtaken by his and for the first time, she felt like they were one body.

“I’ve wanted you for so long,” Ben panted in her ear, “You have no idea, Rey, I just--”

“No, I feel it too,” she breathed, arching against him. The pressure of his arm around her waist crushing them together was overwhelming her. “Always.”

She let herself fall over the precipice then, gulping shuddering gasps that wracked her body. He followed her a moment later, straining up against her so hard she wondered hazily if she could split in two.

They lay in a sweaty heap, breathing hard, until she began to feel a chill and drew the quilt over them. The light began to shift and more clouds blew up, darkening the room considerably.

“Rey,” Ben’s deep voice was languid. “I think you’re going to miss your train today.”

“Nope,” she giggled.

“No? Weren’t you on the 3:20?”

“No, because I already changed my ticket to tomorrow.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are life! Thanks for sticking around for more of this series-- I know it's been a long, long time but RL just completely took over for the last several months.


End file.
